Family discussion and Thy Word

May 27, 2019

I woke up Saturday morning from such an intense dream. I felt that I needed to write it down and tell my parents and siblings about it in a text message. (You know that I have been heavily praying for their walk with Christ lately) this is what I sent them Saturday morning:

Hey family I know it is early in the morning, but I just woke up from an intense dream about you guys. I was back at mom and dads house and we were all sitting on the couch in the living room just like old times. We were young in my dream. We were talking about the Bible. Some of you were struggling when you spoke about how to prove if the Bible was true. Just then there was a man who walked by the Rivera (my maiden last name) home where we all were in. The door was open.  I saw him and he looked into the house. My direction went back to our conversation. This man walked right in. He had 2 goats and 2 pigs on a leash with him. I thought it was odd that he came in without knocking , uninvited, and that he came in with his animals. His presence was almost an encouragement to disprove the Bible. He would make eye contact with the person speaking almost to say “go on”. He sat right down next to me on the couch. He was a distraction to me. I was shocked how the conversation changed. I was angry that everything that we had learned as children in my parents house about the Bible was now changed in opinion.
Something inside of me was stirring and I was angry! Not at my siblings but at what was happening. I needed to know the truth. I asked my siblings if they believed that the Bible was true. They hesitated and looked at the man. He started to answer for them as they stumbled in their answer. No no no! I shouted at him. What are you even doing here? Who even invited you in? You just walked in here uninvited with your filthy animals and sat down uninvited on MY family’s sofa and spoke when nobody asked you to speak! How dare you! Get out of here!” I shouted! Get out get out get out! And take your animals!” And he left. I spoke scripture over my siblings. I was on fire! ....They didn’t respond to my text message. Lol. But my mom called me later to say that she was convicted and felt that she needed to pray.

I wasn’t supposed to attend church this sunday because I was supposed to help my friends butcher their hog. Penelope came down with a sudden fever this morning so I didn’t go and stayed home and turned on our live message at church. I felt the need to share the live link with my siblings before I even knew what today’s message was going to be about.


After listening, I thought the message was incredibly close to my dream!

ANNNNND!!! Saturday morning I woke up after the dream and I had Amy Grant’s Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet song stuck in my head. I sang it all day over and over again. I even texted my siblings about it because we haven’t heard that song since our childhood.

Funny. That was sung on Sunday too! I had no idea they were going to sing that song.

College and the desert

May 16, 2019

I was in a very deep sleep last night and dreamt that I was back at college at the university. I had a hard time finding each of my classes. One class was very far away. I had to cross a desert to get there. I was worried that if I didn’t have my compass with me I would get lost. I felt fearful to cross this desert especially at night. There was wind and it kicked up sand which blocked my view. Nothing was on the horizon but a few sprinkled Joshua trees to mark the path. I took the path and reached the building where my class was. The class had already started once I arrived.

I peeked inside and they were showing a Star Wars film. I went in for a little bit but realized it was time for me to go. There was a woman standing outside that was my sister in my dream (or like a sister to me). She had a beautiful baby on her hip. Everyone wanted to hold her baby because her baby glowed like an angel. There was a bon fire and the sparks from the fire traveled upward into the starry dark sky. People hung out around the fire. We crossed the desert together and I felt safe with her.

When I arrived to my next classroom it was day light there and it felt more like home than a classroom. Once inside, everyone I knew was there. Everyone was running and jumping and happy. My dad was there. Jason was there, he hesitated when I went to open the door for someone who was knocking. But there was a thick wooden pillar with carvings on it that blocked the door. It was tricky but I was able to get around it to open the door when someone knocked to come in. When I went around the pillar, I opened the door and there was a man standing there. He had a friendly smile. I think he had come to pick up an animal, I’m not sure if it was for a chicken or for a goat. I think I knew him.


School: symbolic of a time of learning in life, Acts 19:9. A school is a common dream setting for past or present important events in a person’s life


Desert: symbolic of a cursed or spiritually dry area, Jer. 51:43. The desert can also symbolize a place of insolation for a season in someone’s life


Compass: symbolic of finding the right direction in life, Ps. 119:59 NLT

Wind: symbolic of the Holy Spirit, Acts 2:2. A stormy or scorching wind is symbolic of troubles, Ps. 55:8, Jer. 4:11-12


Sand: Sandstorm-symbolic of troubles or trials in life, Ps. 83:13-15


Path: a level path is symbolic of walking in God’s truth, Ps. 27:11, Jer. 31:9. A hidden path can symbolize an unseen option in life


Sister: symbolic of wisdom, Prov. 7:4 say to wisdom you are my sister


Baby: babies can symbolize a new thing being brought into a person’s life, Isa. 42:9. Behold, the former things are come to pass, and new things do I declare: before they spring forth I tell you of them. A baby is also symbolic of a gift from God, Ps. 127:3 


Fire: symbolic of the word of God, Ps. 29:7, Jer. 23:29. To dream of walking or passing through fire is symbolic of being tested, refined, or matured, Ps. 66:12, 1 Peter 4:12


Knocking: symbolic of an invitation, Song. 5:2, Rev. 3:20


Door: this is symbolic of an opening to a new path in life. If the door is locked it symbolizes an area in life not yet acces­sible to you. A person or animal blocking a door is symbolic of a spiritual hindrance. A door can also be symbolic of a free spirited person, Song. 8:8-9. Doors can also symbolize a person’s mouth, Ps. 141:3


Doorway: a person waiting at an open door can sym­bolize the pursuit of wisdom, Prov. 8:34 Blessed are those who listen to me, watching daily at my doors, waiting at my doorway.


pillar: a symbol of responsibility, support, and strength, Jer. 1:18. Pillars are also elders or mature Christians, Gal. 2:9

working for trump

April 26, 2019

I dreamt that I worked for Donald trump. It was only for the day. For an event he was having.

I didn’t like what I was wearing or how frizzy and messy my hair was. I didn’t feel like I was doing anything helpful but he thanked me at the end and paid me. He seemed sincerely grateful for my help.

I wanted to take a selfie there at his house/palace and in the library but I couldn’t find my phone. I also needed to pee but couldn’t find a restroom before leaving. When I left I was driving away and noticed that his neighbors were very poor Mexican people. Their homes were falling apart but were right up against his giant mansion.


Today April 29, 2019

I had a rough day. All day long I just kept on getting beat up by the voices in my head about how terrible my hair looked, how sloppy my outfit was and how fat I felt. I was working off a long pen and paper list of things that needed to be done to prepare for our dinner guests tomorrow. We had been gone all weekend and so the house was disheveled and I needed to clean and prep the food for tomorrow’s dinner. I woke up early and began right away on my checklist. While cleaning the bathrooms I stopped and looked into the bathroom mirror at the messy haired almost 40 year old. I felt fat and unattractive. I tried to fix up my hair and change into a less frumpy outfit but that didn’t make me look younger or attractive so I had no choice but to keep cleaning the dirty bathroom.

In the middle of my busyness Penelope wanted someone to play dolls with. While I sat and played dolls I thought about how the world doesn’t stop, others become more successful, people workout and get fit, friendships grow tighter and people all around me forget that I exist right now in this very moment. (My self pity really laid it on thick today)  Penelope was happy to have a friend for that moment.

I stood over the kitchen sink and washed a million dishes (food prepping will do that to you when you don’t have a dishwasher) and pivoted over to the countertop to chop and prep each dish. Thoughts of each ridiculous thing I've ever said in my lifetime danced circles in my mind and a sinking loneliness pierced me in all my sensitive places.

Here I am at the end of the day today with so much weight of hopeless disappointments and ugly self images and failures on my back. My soul beaten down into a withered plant that was picked from its life spring.

I read to my sweet girl before tucking her in for bed, Matthew 16 

24 Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.25 For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.26 What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?27 For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father’s glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what they have done.

28 “Truly I tell you, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom.”

Last in line

April 7, 2019

I dreamt that I was last in line at a buffet and I realized I started at the wrong end of the buffet, at the dessert end. There were so many delicious cakes! So many to choose from. They all looked so moist with different fillings. So many flavors. And they were cold and refrigerated. I think it was a potluck buffet. Because I had the sense that people who had already gone before me in line and who were now sitting down behind me on round banquet tables brought the food. They were all watching me.

I placed a couple of cakes on my plate but I knew I should put something healthy on my plate. As I went through the line I saw a friend with a little girl.

I asked her how old her daughter was and she told me 4 years old. And I looked at the little girl and she looked 14 years old. And this confused me in my dream.

I remember those numbers specifically

We chatted while we went through the line . She asked me “so what’s new Lorraine?” And I responded “well I hope to come out with something that doesn’t expose myself so much.“ I felt guilty or shame of my past and the people sitting around the tables all knew about it.

As I got near the end of the buffet I saw there was the meat section. I started looking through trays of meat. Most of the meats had already been taken. They were thin deli looking meats and didn’t look appetizing. As I was looking through the meats there were two guys my age sitting at a table nearby. They were trying to make conversation with me but I was more interested in finding a good piece a chicken to place on my plate. One of the guys asked me if I wanted to fly to the moon and live there with him. I joked and said sure. But I didn’t really mean it. It was kinda like those “sures” that sounds like we both know it’s crazy idea. I chose a thin ugly piece of scaly chicken and placed it on my plate and walk away quickly. I see some salads across the way and I make my way towards it. The salads look much more appetizing.


Thoughts:

Life. Started with the most pleasing choices first. The meat was gross. Salads were more enriching and nutritious at the end I looked at them and walked toward them but woke up before I reached them.

Areas of life:

Friendships

Finances

Spiritual

Food

Marital

Friend’s daughter’s hair

Today is Tuesday February 19, 2019

I dreamt that I was combing my friends daughters hair and I was speaking scriptures to her while I combed it.


Then I woke up. It was the middle of the night and scriptures came pouring out into my mind for my friends daughter.


The scriptures were:


Psalm 139:13-14

13

For you created my inmost being;

    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

14

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

    your works are wonderful,

    I know that full well.


1 Corinthians 3:16

16 Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in your midst?

The ship and the church played out

I woke up on October 15, 2018 and I was bothered by the dream I had. I was bothered because it seemed so real to me. I often have dreams that seem real but for some reason this one bothered me more than others. I spent the day trying to make some sense of it. Then I spent the week trying to get it out of my head but it kept popping up and replaying over and over again in my mind. 

I prayed and asked God if I was obsessing over my dream and if I was just making a big deal about it. I remember asking God, “Am I making all of this up? Are these dreams for nothing? Should I forget all about it? Please help me to ignore my dreams.” 

I dreamt on October 15, 2018 that I was watching My friend’s children and I was supposed to bring them on a big ship. Their parents were already on the ship waiting for them.

I was hurrying the children along a busy and crowded dock. I kept saying to them please hurry we are going to be late. I knew the ship was about to leave and we were late. The children plus my own were so busy looking around at all the people hustling and bustling by that they took tiny steps.

I reached a port and stepped up to a window to ask if this was the right entrance to the ship. The man at the window was rude and made wise cracks about how many children were with me. He seemed irritated that I was late for boarding the ship and for the fact that there were so many children coming on board. I was at the wrong port and asked him kindly to show me where I need to go. At last he did. But I was later than ever now and needed to hurry the children along even more so now.

Finally we reached the entrance and the ship that we needed to board had just sailed off seconds before we had Reached the edge. I was determined to get the children on that ship. I asked to be ferried onto the ship.

The next part of my dream we made it into the ship. I was talking with another person, maybe someone who worked on the ship, to get my supplies for homeschooling. I asked her how long we were going to be on the ship and she said one week. So I needed to plan out the homeschool for that week.

I started pulling little plastic pots filled with soil and I thought to myself I could have all the children plant seeds and we could watch them grow.

As I was stacking the pots I was wondering where Jason went. A friend of Jason’s walked by and I asked him if he knew where Jason might be. He said no.

Next I hear that there is a “woman of the Church” going to do something that could possibly disgrace the name of the church or God? She was a popular well known woman. I’m not sure if she had a YouTube channel but she was very well known and whatever she was about to do was not good. Maybe she was going to film it?

So Justin Rhodes was determined to stop her. And he was going to film it on his channel. He rallied Jason to come help. I think this woman started climbing the outside of the tall church. Justin and Jason were going up after her. I watched from a rooftop nervously. Justin picked up a light tan colored heavy shed building with his own bare hands and slung it on his back. And walked towards the church. Jason grabbed a brown shed and tried to put it on his back. It was heavy and he struggled. I watched him struggle and I was scared for him. He stumbled.  He put the heavy shed on his back and started toward the church after Justin who already started to climb the outside wall with the shed on his back. These sheds were heavy burdens but the guys were determined to reach the top.

Then I couldn’t see them anymore. I was worried for Jason’s safety! I didn’t want him to do this! This was too dangerous. I couldn’t see them, so someone said here watch it on their YouTube channel and handed me a phone. I looked into the screen and I woke up.

 

 

 

November 8, 2018 I am focused on planning out Penelope’s homeschool for the next term. I took the whole week off to plan and prepare. I am compelled to start advent and the timing is perfect. The first week of advent the curriculum says we will be planting seeds in pots. I gather materials needed. I am supposed to use paperwhites. I have never heard of those seeds before. Hey wait a minute these seeds look exactly like the seeds in my dream. 

November 8, 2018 I am focused on planning out Penelope’s homeschool for the next term. I took the whole week off to plan and prepare. I am compelled to start advent and the timing is perfect. The first week of advent the curriculum says we will be planting seeds in pots. I gather materials needed. I am supposed to use paperwhites. I have never heard of those seeds before. Hey wait a minute these seeds look exactly like the seeds in my dream. 

November 3, 2018 I am at a barn dance. Here I am with the famous YouTuber Justin Rhodes and his wife Rebekah. Jason and Justin had a great conversation about YouTubing and bringing an income in for their families. All of a sudden and out of the blue Rebekah starts venting to me about church. Her and I never talk about church or religion. But she initiated the conversation as if it were something we had been talking about before. She told me some things about the organized church that she was upset about. She told me she could never go back to an organized church. I listened and was stunned because all I kept thinking was this is exactly my dream. 

November 3, 2018 I am at a barn dance. Here I am with the famous YouTuber Justin Rhodes and his wife Rebekah. Jason and Justin had a great conversation about YouTubing and bringing an income in for their families. All of a sudden and out of the blue Rebekah starts venting to me about church. Her and I never talk about church or religion. But she initiated the conversation as if it were something we had been talking about before. She told me some things about the organized church that she was upset about. She told me she could never go back to an organized church. I listened and was stunned because all I kept thinking was this is exactly my dream. 

The banquet and the book

Dream October 31, 2018

I dreamt that I was seated at a dinner table at a restaurant maybe (a banquet), with my friends and some people that I didn’t know that well or care about too much. During dinner I received a package from my parents. I opened it and it was a book of my fathers ancestry and a vhs tape of my past. I was overjoyed!!! I held the book like it was a treasure. It contained so many pictures of himself as a child and of his family members that I never knew. I knew this was gold. I felt so happy and warm and couldn’t wait to look through the whole book but I didn’t want to do it at the dinner party. I put the video into a small nearby tv behind my chair and it played video of me from my past. I was well dressed with a light blue leather coat and my hair and makeup looked very nice. But my attitude didn’t seem kind and softhearted in the video as I was marching around giving orders to my siblings. I turned off the video and decided to watch it later just in case it would embarrass me in front of my friends.

After dinner, I announced that I had a plane to catch and everyone got up to go. On a street corner I saw a bear so I ran into a men’s restroom to hide but it only followed me in there. Once in the bathroom the bear became lazy and lounged on its side to go to sleep so I snuck out.

I arrived at the airport late because of the bear so I hurried to check in my bags. I still held my dads ancestry book close to my chest and it was heavy too. But I fumbled with my other belongings as I tried to hurry. I logged into a kiosk and it asked me a question but in my haste I hit enter twice and didn’t see what the question said. The kiosk then printed out a receipt and I grabbed it and took it to the help desk. I asked the man that worked behind the desk where to board my flight. He looked at the receipt and said that when I hit return at the kiosk I cancelled my flight. I cried! What will I do? Would I have to spend the night at the airport? He said I could look up another flight on my phone. I found a place to sit at the airport to search my phone. A nice lady came by and said she was doing the same.


 

Key words:

Banquet

Dinner table

Friends

Gift

Book

Video of my past

Light blue

Airplane

Bear

Lazy bear

Late

Hurry

Fumble

Cancelled plans

Help desk



Feelings:

Happy

Overjoyed

Scared

Hurried

Loss

Worry

Comforted



Thoughts:

A banquet dinner table with friends - surrounded by friends and people who have common interests.


Received a gift from my father of a book of life/bible? It is cherished by me.


Video - I see my past. I don’t  like it. I like who I am now.


Bear ?? A hindrance , laziness is a hindrance?


Airport -

The ship and the church

Dream October 15, 2018

I dreamt that I was watching the My friend’s children and I was supposed to bring them on a big ship. Their parents were already on the ship waiting for them.

I was hurrying the children along a busy and crowded dock. I kept saying to them please hurry we are going to be late. I knew the ship was about to leave and we were late. The children plus my own were so busy looking around at all the people hustling and bustling by that they took tiny steps.

I reached a port and stepped up to a window to ask if this was the right entrance to the ship. The man at the window was rude and made wise cracks about how many children were with me. He seemed irritated that I was late for boarding the ship and for the fact that there were so many children coming on board. I was at the wrong port and asked him kindly to show me where I need to go. At last he did. But I was later than ever now and needed to hurry the children along even more so now.

Finally we reached the entrance and the ship that we needed to board had just sailed off seconds before we had Reached the edge. I was determined to get the children on that ship. I asked to be ferried onto the ship.

The next part of my dream we made it into the ship. I was talking with another person, maybe someone who worked on the ship, to get my supplies for homeschooling. I asked her how long we were going to be on the ship and she said one week. So I needed to plan out the homeschool for that week.

I started pulling little plastic pots filled with soil and I thought to myself I could have all the children plant seeds and we could watch them grow. As I was stacking the pots I was wondering where Jason went. A friend of Jason’s walked by and I asked him if he knew where Jason might be. He said no.

Next I hear that there is a “woman of the Church” going to do something that could possibly disgrace the name of the church or God? She was a popular well known woman. I’m not sure if she had a YouTube channel but she was very well known and whatever she was about to do was not good. Maybe she was going to film it?

So Justin Rhodes was determined to stop her. And he was going to film it on his channel. He rallied Jason to come help. I think this woman started climbing the outside of the tall church. Justin and Jason were going up after her. I watched from a rooftop nervously. Justin picked up a light tan colored heavy shed building with his own bare hands and slung it on his back. And walked towards the church. Jason grabbed a brown shed and tried to put it on his back. It was heavy and he struggled. I watched him struggle and I was scared for him. He stumbled.  He put the heavy shed on his back and started toward the church after Justin who already started to climb the outside wall with the shed on his back. These sheds were heavy burdens but the guys were determined to reach the top.

Then I couldn’t see them anymore. I was worried for Jason’s safety! I didn’t want him to do this! This was too dangerous. I couldn’t see them, so someone said here watch it on their YouTube channel and handed me a phone. I looked into the screen and I woke up.

Proverbs 2

Dream entry October 7, 2018

I had a dream that a friend that I haven’t seen in a very long time came up to me and told me she had an affair on her husband. I felt surprised at this information she shared with me. Throughout the dream and as we were walking, I kept asking her why would she do something like that. I just couldn’t understand why she would do something like that or how something like that would happen in her marriage. She answered my questions but I can’t remember what her answers were. Maybe that wasn’t important. We were walking through a market that sold foreign goods. Foods, spices and trinkets.


The Value of Wisdom proverbs 2

My son, if you receive my words,
And treasure my commands within you,
2 So that you incline your ear to wisdom,
And apply your heart to understanding;
3 Yes, if you cry out for discernment,
And lift up your voice for understanding,
4 If you seek her as silver,
And search for her as for hidden treasures;
5 Then you will understand the fear of the Lord,
And find the knowledge of God.
6 For the Lord gives wisdom;
From His mouth come knowledge and understanding;
7 He stores up sound wisdom for the upright;
He is a shield to those who walk uprightly;
8 He guards the paths of justice,
And preserves the way of His saints.
9 Then you will understand righteousness and justice,
Equity and every good path.And the unfaithful will be uprooted from it.
But the wicked will be cut off from the earth,22
And the blameless will remain in it;
For the upright will dwell in the land,21
the paths of righteousness.toAnd keep
So you may walk in the way of goodness,20
Nor do they regain the paths of life—
None who go to her return,19
And her paths to the dead;
For her house leads down to death,18
And forgets the covenant of her God.
Who forsakes the companion of her youth,17
flatters with her words,whoFrom the seductress
To deliver you from the immoral woman,16
devious in their paths;who areAnd
crooked,areWhose ways 15
delight in the perversity of the wicked;And
Who rejoice in doing evil,14
To walk in the ways of darkness;
From those who leave the paths of uprightness13
From the man who speaks perverse things,
To deliver you from the way of evil,12
Understanding will keep you,
Discretion will preserve you;11
And knowledge is pleasant to your soul,
When wisdom enters your heart,10

Psalm 127

Journal entry September 9, 2018

Yesterday I read psalm 127 in my daily devotional reading.

It was about how children are like arrows against the enemy and whoever has his quiver full is blessed.

This was the second time I heard this passage this week. The first was when a friend of mine came over and mentioned she has some friends who believe that having many children are like a command that God gives to us women. (I have another friend that lived with the Amish for a while that said this was also what they believed).

Regardless whether or not it is really a command, that’s you’re own interpretation, I could see how children could be like arrows against the enemy if you raise them up to serve God. I could see how having your home (quiver) full of children could be so joyous.

Halfway reading through the devotional I stopped and cried. I have one child. My house is quiet and not filled with laughter or fighting. My mobile home is small and cannot accommodate a large crowd. I am 38 years old and the grey hairs on my head remind me of my aging body. My c section scar reminds me of a time when I needed my family near me and how far away I am from them.

I felt terrible after I read that devotion. It just never happened for us! I cried. Jason was always sick! I was shouting at this point. I took a deep long look into my past to see where maybe I went wrong and could have possibly popped out more children. There were no windows. Jason had cancer. Once in remission I got pregnant with Penelope. When Penelope was 2, was the perfect time for me to get pregnant again. But Jason got sick again. Then when he got better we were in the middle of moving here across the country. I retraced my steps again to see. When we first got married Jason was healthy but I was busy climbing the corporate ladder. Something I thought I was supposed to do to be successful. Successful; something I thought I was supposed to be. I wasn’t walking with Christ then. Oh Lord please don’t punishment me for the rest of my life because of my sin before I walked with you. Don’t punish Penelope with loneliness for my sin.

All day long I thought and I thought. Perhaps I could get pregnant now? Perhaps I’m not too old? I felt sad. All day long I prayed.

Last night I dreamt that I was with 3 friends; M, T and C. We all wanted to get pregnant. We met somewhere and it was a Wednesday. One of the women pulled out some tiny pieces of paper and read aloud that friends T and C could not have anymore children because they have something called “Peaks”. They were very sad! Then we 4 ladies met again later in the week. I was curious to see if I was pregnant yet and had my hopes up high. Friend M again unfolded and read the new tiny slips of paper. Friend C could not have any more children and wait... there’s a correction, it is Lorraine who cannot have anymore children not Friend T. She read my name! Oh no! This was sad news. I took a walk by myself and tried to figure out my new diagnosis called Peaks.


Am I crying for the things I cannot have? Discontentment?

What is “peaks”? Mountains? The furthest point I could reach/go? Age?

The dream about the saint at the mall

September 3, 2018

I dreamt that I was at a mall shopping by myself. I saw my brother. We were outside on a grassy area. There was a water hose on the ground that I was trying not to get tangled up in. And I was telling him about goat meat and raw goats milk.

Then I went off to do my shopping.

As I was walking outside of the mall I saw a bin full of chocolate candy and i began to sort through it, then I remembered I had to go into the building to do something or get something, the whole reason I went to the mall that day.

And I saw a saint standing on a roof of a tall opposite building that was across the way from where I was standing and he was wearing a white gown with a blue sash. He had white hair. He was fiercely pointing to a direction of the building that I had to go into. He wanted me to see him. I was getting the feeling that he was saying do not go that way and not to do something.

I asked others if they could see that saint and they said no.

...... 

Mall: symbolic of life’s choices

 

Brother: brother in Christ

 

Meat: symbolic of great spiritual truths,

1 Corinthians 3:2 I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it. Indeed, you are still not ready.


Milk-symbolic of the word of God

1 Peter 2:2 As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby:


Water hose: symbolic of good words and life

Proverbs 10:11 The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence.


Chocolate candy: symbolize a lure or temptation

Donald Trump

August 18, 2018

I had a dream that I was pregnant by Donald trump. In my dream I was so angry that this happened. I could not stand this man and I was angry that I was pregnant with his child. At the end of my dream I gladly gave the baby up for adoption when it was born.

When I woke up I was so upset. I wasn’t upset because I detest Donald trump and I had gotten pregnant with his child, I was disturbed because I gave a baby up for adoption. I would never do that. Not even if the father was disgusting Donald Trump. For weeks I have been bothered by this dream.

 ....

I know dreams are not literal and pregnancy in a dream can mean a figurative meaning of the birth of an idea.

Kathy

Dear Kathy,

I had a dream about you last night. I dreamt that I was walking to a library. I saw your mom also going there. She was ahead of me. I followed her. I saw that she walked up to the librarian desk and spoke with the librarian. When I asked your mother what she was doing she told me that she was erasing your past. She didn’t want anyone to look you up or to find any past information about you. What a weird dream.

.... 

It’s strange but that dream is totally true! Well not through the library though.

Whatever you did in the past can be erased the very moment you speak to God and and ask him to erase your past. He will.

The God of the universe loves you. He actually has a place for you. If you will accept it.

This real and living God loves you and sent his son to die for you on the cross and to erase all past things that you have done and can assure you (yes you beautiful Kathy!) a place in heaven.

All you have to do is ask him to and he will.

Kathy, I hope that you are not struggling with anything in your past. It is all forgiven if you ask him to he will.

You are so loved here and there are so many of us that want to see you again in heaven. All of us on the group text are sisters in Christ. We all have had our pasts erased and forgiven. And each of us are praying that you will surrender your life to the God of the universe. My sweet friend, I am so happy that I got to know you better and your precious family. We all love your boys. And we love you Kathy! 

Dream about the big white van

August 14, 2018

I dreamt that I was riding in a large white van with a bunch of others. All the others seemed younger than me. I’m not sure where we were going but it wasn’t home. More like traveling?

Some of the girls were flirting with the boys. One girl in particular that was sitting in the long bench seat in front of me had brown curly hair. She had on a very risqué outfit and her shorts were made of black lace. Kind of see through. We seemed to be parked somewhere for a short time. Maybe to get gas or something. While we were parked the girl in the front took off her seat belt and crouched down by another girl in front of me on the long bench seat. They were giggling.

I was talking to the people that were sitting in my row when I hear the girl in front of me say “no you didn’t!” With a laugh.

I look to see the flirty girl with brown curly hair laughing out loud and she has no underwear on. So I speak in a loud mother tone of voice “get out of the car! Go!”

She looks at me like you can’t be serious.

“Go on!” I say. I’m not shouting but I have a voice of authority,

She puts her short back on and says I’m going to call my mom on you. And I say good. I hope you do I need to tell her what you did.

It is later and I climb out of the crowded messy car. It’s cold outside. Like it wants to snow. I walk over to where I see everyone I know standing. I see joey and Jeanine and his family. They are cold. I see my brother. I say are you ready to move here? They say they aren’t sure they can handle the cold.

My dream about popularity, identity, material wealth

August 7, 2018

I dreamt that I went to a building that I was familiar with and I was hanging out with my old coworkers. Then one of them told me she was in a very popular rock band called the foo fighters. Her hair and outfit was so awesome. Wow she’s so cool I kept thinking. And I was so amazed and thought she was so cool because I thought the rock band was cool. Then she invited me to hang out with her and the band.

While we were hanging out, my old boss, Trina (the fashion designer) comes in and asks if I used to like working for her, I told her that it was great then but now I live a very different life now and I don’t need all those clothes anymore. She says well I have a quick job for you just this once. And I see no harm in taking the quick job just this once and I am happy to have the extra income. While working the job I see my coworkers having fun, being well dressed and going out together after work. I secretly wish for this too.

One day I am at a coworkers house and there is a knock at the door. It’s Trina (my boss) and she’s bringing gifts for everyone and even for their children. I am thinking wow this is so nice. Trina says that she buys gifts for all her employees. And says that she would like for me to stay on full time. I have a feeling she is trying to entice me. I see the gifts being passed out to the adults and children. My friend sitting next to me gets a robot that can fetch him cookies from the kitchen. He thinks it’s cool but I could see deep down that he has no real use for it. I see the children open their gifts. They are all very colorful gifts. All the children are amazed and happy.

Then the colors seem to be too loud all of a sudden. Bright reds  and bold yellows start to scream at me. The children are not satisfied with their gifts and start to fight over each other’s gifts thinking the others are better. I see the gifts are big giant plasticy bulky toys I feel a panic almost inside me and realize I want to go back to my simple home. My simple living and tiny home with homemade wooden things all around me. I tell Trina that I’m sorry but I cannot take the job.

There is a part in this dream where I am driving in an old pickup truck with my dad with giant trays of homemade peanut butter cookies to sell or pass out at a school?? But I’m not sure at what point this fit in .

​The dream about Friend BR.

august 2, 2018

I was back at my moms house. We were sitting in the living room and she was telling me how she was Ill. This was devastating news. Something about her heart or her breast? She said that she couldn’t do something anymore. I strongly convinced her that she could! If only she could take her mind off her illness. So I told her that if she went running or walking everyday that would help. And I would walk with her everyday. She was surprised and agreed.

The next day I was very late to school. So I asked someone for a ride. I was eager to get there because I remembered my commitment to BR. 

At the end of the day I knew I had to make her food. I was making food.

Something about a house being for sale and a woman wanted to take pictures of it. It was a corner house. I don’t think it was my house?

There was also something about guitar lessons.

Flowing waters

July 2018

I dreamt that I was at my parents house. It was around the time when the sun was going down and everything was golden from the sun’s rays. I was on the phone with Allison. I was standing outside and noticed water coming from the side of the house. I walked over to it and saw that it was a flood. But my mood wasn’t troubled. I felt overcome by wonder and amazement. I followed the water to find out where it was exactly coming from. I noticed the water kept getting deeper and rushed stronger as I sought harder. I reached the gate that leads to the backyard that faces the sunset. I saw that the flowing water source lead into the backyard of my parents and just beyond the gate I saw people gathered by a swimming pool of which the water flowed.

My feeling was wonder.

Then I walked back to the front of the yard where there was no water, still on the phone with Allison. I noticed a crow in the lawn inspecting a pile of items. I noticed the crow was talking like a human. He was saying leave it alone or let it go.

The crow seemed to notice me and said hello I went over to it to say hello but he flew away. I was still talking to Allison in the phone. My feeling was friendly.

Later in my dream, Jason and I were on a date at a clothing store. 

Then we came back to our property and on a grassy green hill I noticed water and oil were flowing out of two spigots and pipes. My feeling was excitement.

 ......,


My thoughts:

My parents house = my fathers house = heaven?
What the Bible says ravens/crows:
Luke 1222 Then Jesus said to his disciples: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear.23 For life is more than food, and the body more than clothes.24 Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds!25 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life[b]?26 Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?
What the Bible says about flowing water:

John 7:38

Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, ‘Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.’”

Ezekiel 47:1-12

Then he brought me back to the door of the temple, and behold, water was issuing from below the threshold of the temple toward the east (for the temple faced east). The water was flowing down from below the south end of the threshold of the temple, south of the altar. Then he brought me out by way of the north gate and led me around on the outside to the outer gate that faces toward the east; and behold, the water was trickling out on the south side. Going on eastward with a measuring line in his hand, the man measured a thousand cubits, and then led me through the water, and it was ankle-deep. Again he measured a thousand, and led me through the water, and it was knee-deep. Again he measured a thousand, and led me through the water, and it was waist-deep. Again he measured a thousand, and it was a river that I could not pass through, for the water had risen. It was deep enough to swim in, a river that could not be passed through.

Storm at my parent’s house

July 20, 2018

It was night time and Jason and I pulled up to my moms and dads driveway. It was very windy outside. There was a terrible wind storm. I looked outside the car window and saw trees blowing violently. Then I saw in the next driveway a truck and a little boy huddled next to the truck door almost like he was trying to get in to seek shelter but it had been locked. I looked closely and saw that it was Tyler my brothers son. I said, “hey that’s Tyler he needs help.” So I got out of the car to help him. On the driveway I see a trash can and it smells like a dirty toilet. I walk up to my parents walkway to the front door of their house. There I am met with my mom, Penelope and my sister priscilla. They have been spooked. Penelope is hugging my mom and looks afraid. My mom tells me there has been some strange things going on. I don’t remember what they were but I knew that there was a spiritual battle. One of the things she told me was that there was some phone call or something from a woman named Kathy. Then I woke up abruptly.

Dream about Christmas time

I had this dream about a year ago. I just remembered it today August 13, 2018.

I was at a hotel that was all decorated up for Christmas.

It was very fancy and expensive.

Penelope was with me. I think also another little girl as there too.

There was snow on the ground.

And ever green trees.

Christmas lights

There was a long driveway to get to the place. Snow all around.

People coming and going.

Christmas ornaments

Dream about purgatory

May 26, 2018

I dreamt I woke up in purgatory. It was kind of like a drs office. There was a woman there who was the guide. She called us into her office but it wasn’t as formal as it sounds. She told us about herself and how she was not dead and that she was just in waiting just like the rest of us.

She talked a lot but I don’t remember what she was saying.

Driving

Prom

I said I love you to my parents

...... 

Afterthoughts;

Psalm 73:24, which assures that after trusting Christ in life we will be received at once with love by God in our death. “You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory.” It is into glory that justified sinner go at death, not into a hell-like furnace of purgatory. All because of the righteousness that is not of ourselves, not of the church, but is of Christ through faith, so that, as Paul says in 1 Corinthians 1:30, Jesus is himself our righteousness before our loving God. That is why the Christian gospel is one of joy and not of fear, in life as well as in death, a Gospel of the hope of eternal life that says to all who trust in Christ, “There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Rom. 8:1).

there is no purgatory.